LAM London Alternative Market, The first of many to cum (no that’s come, sorry always having sex on the brain can interrupt) The venue, the Clapham Grand, opposite Clapham Junction. Sundays Once a month from 11am till 6pm. For any details go to there website at www.LondonAlternativeMarket.com

I have always tried to support new ventures and the LAM was no exception, myself and JesSucker were invited to attend the first days trading and from the outset I have to say I am so glad I did not miss it. JesSucker and I turned up just after opening time. (Well nobody wants tobe the first at a party now do they) We were guided in through an appropriate side door to cater for my wheelchair. However you common people get to walk through the front door with a red carpet greeting you. Very polite and discrete staff welcomes you as you arrive, (Not some bloody huge bruiser of a door whore)

JesSucker and I made our way around the stands having a quick chat to each stall holder asking for there opinion on the venue, how they have been treated and what there plans are for the future. The reason for getting around the market from the outset was I know personally how busy, cramped and manic things can get, Safely saying I am so glad I did because later the place was heaving, bodies were everywhere.

Dave the main organiser has ensured me that LAM aim to do things not just differently than the norm but also want to put back into the fetish scene as much as they get out of it and most importantly everyone that attends has a good time. LAM openly asks if you have any concerns or even any suggestions on how to improve the event, so please do not hesitate to open your gobs and make yourself heard.

Getting back to the event, Food wise (yum yum and fuckin yum yum) At one entrance way Crepes (that’s Crepes not creeps) oh my god they were fantastic they were excellently priced and were expertly prepared by My Lady’s Crepes, Nigel cooked (never did you see him taking a rest) and the lovely Linda done not only the preparing but made Nigel look good. (I went back for seconds but that’s cos I am a greedy bastard)

At the other entrance a big bouncing baby boy had grown up and was preparing sandwiches, coleslaw, chilli and anything else you care to mention that goes with baked potatoes.

Princess Spider was flogging her autobiography book aptly named Princess Spider, Now let me just look at this a spider has eight legs and the word or title princess has eight letters, that has just got to be a coincidence. (Well the best bit has tobe the bit where she mentions yours truly I am sure of it)

One stand I kept a very weary eye on www.e-stim.co.uk creating the energy in Electro Stimulating (yea right shocking the fuck out of you would be my difinition)
Now you would have thought that was enough sparks but fuck me there was someone else NickandMorphia and there wide selection of bloody Violet Wands, keep an eye out for there store on Ebay from the 6th March or e-mail them at Nicholas@ukfun.com
There was Madam MeMe a leather crafts company that can make one off products or customise items at no or little extra cost, to me that’s a bonus as who wants to look the same as someone else. (And also not to mention they gave Jess and I a delightful gift)
If diamonds are your best friend then www.MistressExclusive.co.uk can certainly put a sparkle in your eye (and in your arse I kid you not)
Now I am not one for hiding (although there are many that wish I would) however JesSucker was rather impressed with the range of masks from www.strictlysensuous.com and also fans, flowers and Ticklers all made from Feathers who also have a range of cloaks and amber in silver jewellery.

A big bonus with the venue for LAM is not only does the Clapham Grand have the largest digital video screen but the venue also has a large high levelled stage where everyone was granted a very in-depth demonstration from Alex whip master explaining the art of how to use a variety of bull whips who was also able to show off his handy work on two delightful bits of arse. (Not to mention leaving his signature in bright red on pure white flesh) Also the venue has a large viewing gallery high above with seating enabling everyone to be able see all on display. But I would have to say two down falls for the venue there are no disabled toilets and although I was able to use the service lift to the second floor then have my chair dismantled to fit my fat arse through the bar I would have to say there was no lifts for raspberrys in chairs.

When you arrive at LAM you are given the opportunity to enter a prise draw for cash and items that have been donated by many of the stallholders at the Market. When I spoke to Dave one of the main organisers of the event who has a fantastic fetish for masks (or who just loves hiding behind a disguise) He was very proud to mention that LAM will be sponsoring a different organisation each month. This month was the www.SpannerTrust.org an organisation run entirely by volunteers to help and fight for the rights of anyone with and in the alternative lifestyle community, for example there are those that have been charged and successfully prosecuted for indulging in private full consenting BDSM (yep that’s correct if you agree to allow someone to spank your arse you can be taken to court and get a proper telling off) So you’re a husband and wife, Dom and sub shall we say for an example, please sir I am as horny as fuck, I also haven’t done the washing up like you asked sir, I should be restrained, I should have my knickers ripped from my body and I should have my bottom spanked with your slipper sir, till the tears of ecstasy roll down my face and the checks of arse are a glowing rosy red. Oh and yes sir I hope we do get interconnecting prison cells.
Its called grievously bodily harm to yourself allowing your spouse to spank you. However it’s perfectly ok to allow some stranger to stick metal spikes through any part of your anatomy. (Tell me who’s the fucked up in the head person that came up with that ruling)
Next month LAM are sponsoring www.LondonFetishScene.com and the next Market day is Sunday 2nd of April at the Clapham Grand in Clapham Junction 11am till 6pm. The event is an over 18`s only and you are encouraged to wear fetish.

After speaking to Dave a few days later he and LAM have a lot of things happening in the pipeline and have been going through the suggestions from people on the day at the market.
The pics I was able to take on the day of the Market will be at www.kinky-kiwi.com and if you have anything be it a club or something to do with the alternative lifestyle you would like mentioning by all means drop me an e-mail at kiwifetish@aol.com