Does Love belong on the fetish scene? There are many forms of love, passions and interests that have a conflicting, difficult and upsetting outcomes.
I take examples from relationships, friendships and business. All of witch I have learnt over the past 5 years NEVER NEVER mix any of them together, however learning such a delicate and complicated subjects has taken me far to long and at the expense of many good people.

Friendship is my first example. When first entering the fetish scene finding something I felt so at home with and highly comfortable came as a big shock after just going through a divorce and braking my back. Having the disadvantage of being wheelchair bound I thought stupidly or maybe it was being naive, that peoples help was genuine. At first there help may have been genuine. I entered into a world that was to open many doors but one by one close with a slam and bitterness, some of witch will never be rectified.

I met a young man who was an enthusiastic photographer and web developer, he first asked me to get more involved in a big passion of his own, the londonfetishscene web site. Write revues and stories from my point of view as a disabled person. I had never been a person that was able to write a letter and yet I got involved and found my first passion.

People started asking me for my opinion and advice, where should we go for our fist experience? What’s the fetish scene like? How do I get involved were just an example of what I was asked. As I got more involved I then started hearing complaints.

Rather than ignore them and having passions I loved that was not so much visible on the fetish scene I entered into business with the photographer. Club L`Amour was not just a fetish club it was a swinging players party club. This was to be my first experience of how a project that started with so much promise could end in bitterness and a wrecked friendship. I have left the door open to one day hopefully resolve what ever the outcome. Is that love I ask? I think so.

At the same time I entered into a relationship that was to be long term and to give me faith that no matter what your disability or condition there is someone out there for everyone. Our fetish interests developed far beyond my wildest dreams. I realised voyeurism was to play a big part in the years to come.

We both became avid swingers and had only one rule, never to do anything without each other. We became a single unit depending on each other and enjoying everything together. Both pushing our own interests always confiding in each other about how much we were enjoying the experiences and our love for each other. Travelling the world and supporting each other in each others interests. After some years devoting ourselves to spending the rest of our lives with each other in marriage. Love is blind some say and I have come to realise what that is meant. Every relationship has difficult times however hiding feelings and not making them known can destroy the mind.

There were times that I had felt love and the fetish scene do not mix and was willing to give it all up. After talking things through and listening to friends I was reassured. Dreams were planned and set in motion, A modelling carrier along with web sites on one side, a fetish club and film casting on the other, a film carrier on one side and a producing carrier on the other, children and moving to another country on one side and my continuing writing for the fetish club scene on the other. All of witch was just a waste of time. Love can blind you, stealing from close friends, lying and deceit are only things you find out when its to late.

Rebuilding a life after love when you feel destroyed and wondering how can anyone move on has never been something I have had to comprehend, I find myself surrounded by friends that have been hurt and bitter but once again reassure me that although I have been taken advantage of there is no point giving up.

Diving myself into projects that I love have become my hope and faith. With the experiences I have learnt over the past 5 years I now find myself about to embark on bigger and better things. A fetish club with my own stamp and style, A photographic studio and dungeon, and a budget of £75,000 to set up a casting company for main stream films.